That moment when....

That awesome moment when you're lying out back, with your bikini top untied... You've fallen asleep.... Your dog starts digging in the dirt next to you and you jump up because you suddenly think you're under attack....

Spongebob Lewie pants.

At the club (swimming pool), this mom tells her son, "GET over here RIGHT now!!! 1.... 2.... 3...."

Lewie yells, "momma's gonna spank yer butt!!!"

I looked around like I had no idea whose kid he was....

Let's bone.

Me: I don't WANT to roll the sex dice. Can't we just bone?

Him: your jaw still hurt?

Me: seriously? Can you ever be romantic?!

Him: *laughing* really?! Me?! "can we just bone?" sorry, Shakespeare.

Me: Shakespeare? You wanna bone a man?

Him: "what?!"

Me: you said Shakespeare. Do you want to bone a man?

Him: no, but I'll spear you.
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Really.... I can't believe or make sense of half of our real life conversations.....

Dance with me?

Me: "Are you looking up stuff for us to do in San Diego?"

Him: "yeah."

Me: "pretty much just bars and stuff, huh?"

Him: "yeah."

Me: "Will you dance with me there?"

Him: "maybe."

Me: "Thats the kind of shit that turns me on, honey."

Him: "what? Bad dancing? You're weird."

We go days without kissing.

Me: "do you know how much I long to be kissed.... sometimes?"

Him: "I got somethin' long you can kiss."

Self explanatory.

He sure is romantic!!

Come here.

him: "come here, honey. I'll massage you."

Me: "is that massage with or without expectations?"

Him: "without.... But I'll just hope it goes in my favor."

he read it somewhere.

me: "I've been having trouble sleeping lately."

him: "they say it's not good to be on your computer or read 30 minutes before going to bed."

me: "really?"

him: "yeah, i read that somewhere."

....

him: "i also read that repetitive head movements helps relax the brain and helps you sleep a lot better.... your partner too."

"I just don't get how they ended up together...."

me: "I just don't know how they ended up together.... he is sooo quiet and she is SOO outgoing."

him: "look at us. i married you because you have enough words and feelings for both of us...."

If we get this house....

him: "you know, that if we get this house, you can't ask for anything else for five years...."

the next morning....

him: "I love you honey. I just want to help you. You know you can have anything you want, all you have to do is ask...."

me: "I want my hair cut and colored."

him: ".... in another five years!" (walking out of the bathroom)

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(about purchasing our first home)

I gotta get to sleep.... Good night.

him: "i've got to get to sleep.... good night."

a few minutes pass..... it's dark and quiet.

him: "i have half a boner. you gonna sit on this thing so i can go to sleep or what?"

(he sure is the romantic one!! sure knows how to set the mood just right!)

"I made a new blog"

him: "what's it called? 'When I can't talk, I write." ?? he laughs... and laughs harder....